Majoring in Motherhood

Firstly let me say that last night I sat up and wrote the most fantastic piece of prose ever known to man and the computer crashed and I lost it all! Sort of like that Tenacious D track "The Greatest Song in the World", this is now only a tribute because I can't remember exactly what I wrote! Trust me that it was startingly amazing poetry because "this song isn't anything like that song"!

But it was about precocious children and in particular my own Darling Daughter. At 2 year old she had the vocab of a Rhodes Scholar, at 8yo she seems to be exhibiting teenage behaviours including the slamming of doors, screeching criticism of my mothering style and an almost clinical aversion to cleaning her room. I have tried sending her to her room (unfortunately a childhood wonderland full of toys, tv, dvd, cd player and other assorted electronic equipment does not a turkish prison make!), grounding (semi-successful) and withdrawal of priveleges (I'm running out of priveleges to withdraw!). Threats of boarding school seem to work as a last resort. I reinforced my sincerity by looking up boarding schools on the Net but when I turned my back she closed down the window on my computer ROFL! Still a good back-up. Now I'm trying to drown the bad behaviour with extra attention and affection. It seems to be working.

Her tantrums are almost uniquely reserved for when Dad is not around, so when he is away they have started a texting relationship on the mobile phone on a regular basis and I'm trying to give her extra attention, lots of positive reinforcement and even more hugs and kisses than usual. It seems to be working, which is a sad reflection on what we must have been doing wrong before. *sigh*! I'll keep you posted. If it works I'll write a book and start a speaking tour!